A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
He Smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
Tears Formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of
nature Through such innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her
to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was
looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.
"So, the other one is a Mummy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he
replied "No dear, both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then
took her foot and stomped them flat.
"Well, we're not having any of that gay sh*t in our garden"
Daddy Longlegs
thank you kz. i come from a long line of smart asses. actually most of my jokes are quite old.
this is a true story: many years ago i was sitting outside on the patio having a beer and cigarette. then my little nephew, who was about 5-6 yrs old came out side and just stood there watching me smoke. now i could tell by the way he was looking at me, that he was about to ask me a question. sure enough, he says "uncle Lars, can i smoke a cigarette?" trying to be a responsable adult, i go into this speal about how cigs are dangerous and that only stupid people smoke..........he gives me this "wtf" look on his face and says "uncle lars, you smoke so your stupid and shouldn't have to listen to you".........i started laughing and said to him "justin, come here and give your uncle lars a hug" at the same time, his mother (big sis) comes out and justin looks at her and says "uncle lars is an idiot" so i start laughing to the point that i got tears coming out of my eyes, i look at justin and say "come here and give my a hug" he just gives me this pathetic look on his face and says "i'm never going to smoke"..........and to this day he does not smoke. that was over 15 yrs ago and that still makes me laugh when i think about that.
this is a true story: many years ago i was sitting outside on the patio having a beer and cigarette. then my little nephew, who was about 5-6 yrs old came out side and just stood there watching me smoke. now i could tell by the way he was looking at me, that he was about to ask me a question. sure enough, he says "uncle Lars, can i smoke a cigarette?" trying to be a responsable adult, i go into this speal about how cigs are dangerous and that only stupid people smoke..........he gives me this "wtf" look on his face and says "uncle lars, you smoke so your stupid and shouldn't have to listen to you".........i started laughing and said to him "justin, come here and give your uncle lars a hug" at the same time, his mother (big sis) comes out and justin looks at her and says "uncle lars is an idiot" so i start laughing to the point that i got tears coming out of my eyes, i look at justin and say "come here and give my a hug" he just gives me this pathetic look on his face and says "i'm never going to smoke"..........and to this day he does not smoke. that was over 15 yrs ago and that still makes me laugh when i think about that.