mid morning humor

[MaZen]

Just another pointless post. Hope someone finds this funny. It was sent to me a few days ago.




THE PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to herein as the Agreement is entered into as of the _____ day of __________, 2003, by And between ____________ and ____________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - UNLESS IT IS VERY GOOD AND WE NEED TO REPEAT IT IN THE MORNING.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9pm - (we don't have shit to talk about)
4. None of that lovemaking shiit -- strictly mind blowing-sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions...(ex. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me--Hell naw-- so don't ask stupid shit.)
6. No plans made in advance ... that is why you are called the backup unless you are from out of town-then its only a one time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts excepted - (money and diamonds are always good)
8. No baby talk (however, dirty talk is encouraged)
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers (its really none of your damn business!)
10. No kissing (too intimate except to other body parts-- no mouth kissing--yuck)
11. No calling each other friends with benefits (we are not friends, just sex buddies)
12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK -- don't be offended
13. No extra clothing (I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.)
14. No falling asleep right after sex -- get your azz up and go home -- its over, dammit
15. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it (I don't care).
16. You can not borrow my car for any reason
17. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be, My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend
18. Doggie style preferred (just hit it hard and right or get the hell out) 19. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better.(dont want to look at your azz -- just want to fuck you)
20. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes - ME (so don't keep calling dammit!)
21. The most important one -- no condoms--no fucking--carry your azz home.
22. Bring your own drink -- I am not your liquor store.
23. No phone use please -- don't want anyone calling back looking for your azz.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and You will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. BLOCKED from all communications until your silly azz understand the rules.
Participating Party Signature_______________________________________ Date:________________ Participating Party Signature___________________________________Date:________________

[Technohippie]

[Preppy Raver]

hmm interesting!