How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Complain because your husband had been eating your gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.
11. Rinse conditioner off hair.
12. Shave armpits and legs.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
15. Get out of shower onto a floor towel. Dry with a towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
16. Hang floor towel on side of tub.
17. Check entire body for zits, tweeze unwanted hairs.
18. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
19. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Taste your wife's ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
13. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
14. Pee.
15. Rinse off and get out of shower. (What's a floor towel?)
16. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
17. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
18. Leave shower curtain open, water on floor, light and fan on.
19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
20. Throw wet towel on bed.
How to Shower
How to Shower
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
It's good girls that keep diaries; bad girls never have the time.
It's good girls that keep diaries; bad girls never have the time.
ok so yea your alone, thats what fanasies are for, not only that you know your gonna get off, you dont have to deal with any stupid boy bull shit, or worry about if he thinks your a whore, or about getting pregnant or an std, and not only that you learn what does get you off and more aout your own body so when you are with some one that sux in bed you can tell them what to do
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
It's good girls that keep diaries; bad girls never have the time.
It's good girls that keep diaries; bad girls never have the time.
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Preppy Raver
- eNation crew
- Posts: 1131
- Joined: Jan 19 2003 07:34 pm
- Location: With him.
soulkiss wrote:ok so yea your alone, thats what fanasies are for, not only that you know your gonna get off, you dont have to deal with any stupid boy bull shit, or worry about if he thinks your a whore, or about getting pregnant or an std, and not only that you learn what does get you off and more aout your own body so when you are with some one that sux in bed you can tell them what to do
i agree completely.....except....that sometimes you get so good at masterbating, that it is no longer possible for the average guy to get you off!
haha, yeah.Preppy Raver wrote:soulkiss wrote:ok so yea your alone, thats what fanasies are for, not only that you know your gonna get off, you dont have to deal with any stupid boy bull shit, or worry about if he thinks your a whore, or about getting pregnant or an std, and not only that you learn what does get you off and more aout your own body so when you are with some one that sux in bed you can tell them what to do
i agree completely.....except....that sometimes you get so good at masterbating, that it is no longer possible for the average guy to get you off!
no more sex talk from me, all i seem to do is piss off people here. =x
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bitterchemical
- Gemini
- Posts: 155
- Joined: May 25 2003 07:10 pm
- Contact:
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bitterchemical
- Gemini
- Posts: 155
- Joined: May 25 2003 07:10 pm
- Contact: