Singles ad's (what they really mean)

Chad Richey · Post by **Chad Richey** » Jul 21 2004 02:58 am

40-ish...............................49

> Adventurous......................Slept with everyone

> Athletic.............................No tits

> Average looking..................Ugly

> Beautiful............................Pathological liar

> Contagious Smile...............Does a lot of pills

> Emotionally Secure.............On medication

> Feminist............................Fat

> Free spirit..........................Junkie

> Friendship first....................Former slut

> Fun..................................Annoying

> New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places

> Old-fashioned.....................No BJs

> Open-minded......................Desperate

> Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing

> Passionate.........................Sloppy drunk

> Professional........................Bitch

> Voluptuous.........................Very Fat

> Large frame........................Hugely Fat

> Wants Soul Mate.................Stalker

>

> WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

> 1. Yes = No

> 2. No = Yes

> 3. Maybe = No

> 4. We need = I want..

> 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

> 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

> 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

> 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

> 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

> 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

> MEN'S ENGLISH:

> 1. I am hungry. = I am hungry.

> 2. I am sleepy. = I am sleepy.

> 3. I am tired. = I am tired.

> 4. Nice dress. = Nice cleavage!

> 5. I love you. = Let's have sex now.

> 6. I am bored. = Do you want to have sex?

> 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

> 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

> 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay

Dj Cliff Davis · Post by **Dj Cliff Davis** » Jul 21 2004 07:27 am

that's a trip!!

Preppy Raver · Post by **Preppy Raver** » Jul 21 2004 07:51 am

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

hahahahaha

oracle · Post by **oracle** » Jul 21 2004 08:22 am

i just about fell out of my chair laughing. that's some funny shit - funny, because it's not far from the truth.

Tempestuous · Post by **Tempestuous** » Jul 23 2004 12:06 pm

oracle wrote:that's some funny shit - funny, because it's not far from the truth.

Thats funny as hell!!!

Oracle's right, because some men can't understand straight english.

oracle · Post by **oracle** » Jul 23 2004 02:57 pm

Tempestuous wrote:....
Oracle's right, because some men can't understand straight english...

i'd have to disagree there, women are always looking for some deeper meaning to what a guys says, and on the same token women always have hidden meanings to what they say and expect men to decipher this code based on the tone of their voice or something. men, say exactly what they are trying to convey.

this has just been my experience, but i'm sure it's not like this with everybody.

Tempestuous · Post by **Tempestuous** » Jul 23 2004 03:29 pm

Actually I agree, I couldn't stand not to say something smart ass though... it was begging for it.

nsingh20v · Post by **nsingh20v** » Jul 23 2004 05:14 pm

hehehe..

good stuff.