what not to say to a dj...

Preppy Raver · Post by **Preppy Raver** » Jul 25 2004 10:30 am

WHAT NOT TO SAY TO THE DJ

1. "Can you play something we can dance too?"
In the meantime The Rapture is on. If you can't dance to The Rapture you must really suck in bed.

2. "If you play this song I'll get laid."
Then go home, listen to the whole album and have a marathon.

3. "Can you play it next cuz we're leaving soon?"
The only person who gets away with that is the one who signs the DJ's check, and that person does not make very many requests.

4. "What are you playing next?"
I guess you'll find out. Patience is a virtue

5. "Can you play Fuck You Like An Animal?"
The name of the song is "Closer" you moron.

6. "Everybody Wants To Hear It !"
Oh sure you polled everybody in the club, and you as their spokesperson, are requesting the song.

7. "Hey man, nobody can dance to this."
It's not advisable to say this when the floor is packed! However even if there is only one person dancing it still contradicts the statement.

8. "I don't know who sings it and I don't know the name of the song, but it goes like this...."
Please don't sing to the DJ, he does not want to hear a rendition of your favorite song.

9. "Everyone will dance if you play it"
HE won't, so I guess that blows a hole in that theory.

10. "I don't know what I wanna hear, what do you have?"
The STUPIDEST question. It's alot easier for you to have another drink and figure it out than have him recite every album he has.

11. Never get pissed off at the DJ because you wanted him to play just one more song at the end of the night and did'nt get your wish...Your DJ is on his feet busting his ass and racking his brain for 4 hours locked in a booth many times with a playlist (format ) that has been approved by the club owner which includes a closing dance set... on top of all this Everyone that works for the club is dog fucking tired, the club still has to be cleaned and reciepts counted out before closeing and simply put they all want to go home and in most cases if the club is not cleared by a certain hour they could be heavely fined by the local police... Needless to say ..Where were you in the beginning of the fucking night with your song request when things were chill?

A FEW SIMPLE RULES

If the DJ has one hand on the mixer and the other on the cd player or headphones, don't bug him, he's either mixing or cueing.

The floor in the booth is not an ashtray.

Don't put your drinks near, or hold them over the DJ's components or records.

You are only allowed to sing in the booth if you actually wrote the song. So unless you are Taime and he's playing "Bathroom Wall" or Kenny and he's playing "Paint You A Picture" don't sing in the booth.

Don't give him your lame ass demo cd and ask him to play a song that probably sucks, he will just discard the cd and keep the cheap case for one of his mix cd's.

And above all always tip your DJ in some form whether it's with greenbacks, flashing him your tits, an Apple Martini or something else he might enjoy. Please follow these simple guidelines and you and your DJ will get along just fine.

MaZen · Post by **MaZen** » Jul 25 2004 10:43 am

The above post wrote:And above all always tip your DJ in some form whether it's with greenbacks, flashing him your tits, an Apple Martini or something else he might enjoy. Please follow these simple guidelines and you and your DJ will get along just fine.

Awe yeah. Def a good rule to go by!

TOY CRUSHER · Post by **TOY CRUSHER** » Jul 25 2004 12:02 pm

Preppy Raver wrote:If the DJ has one hand on the mixer and the other on the cd player or headphones, don't bug him, he's either mixing or cueing.

THANK GOD someone finally said it. This is one of my biggest pet peeves.

oracle · Post by **oracle** » Jul 25 2004 06:10 pm

most importantly, imo, do not ask the dj play something from a different genre than what he is playing. for example, do not ask for 'in da club' when the dj is playing breaks.

Dj Cliff Davis · Post by **Dj Cliff Davis** » Jul 25 2004 08:48 pm

Ya, I saw these B4 and it's so tru!

manus · Post by **manus** » Jul 26 2004 09:04 am

I would like to add to that list. I have had these things said to me at clubs/parties/raves.

1. "Do you have anything harder than this?"
Playing at Therapy/FatKat when this was said. IM PLAYING DRUM N BASS FUCK BAG, HOW MUCH HARDER DO YOU WANT IT TO GET??? SORRY IM PLAYING EASTSIDE RECORDS INSTEAD OF THE REGHARDWARE.

2. Some guy - "Do you have any Moby?"

Manus - "I have a remix of Moby's 'GO'."

Some guy - "No, do you have any Moby? cause Moby is better than this." *some guy points down to the record playing.*
Playing at a house party when this was said. DUMBASS THE RECORD THAT WAS PLAY AT THE TIME WAS: DJHYPE - JACK TO A KING
WHAT A BITOCH!!! THE RECORDS SAYS ENOUGH!!!!

D Min · Post by **D Min** » Jul 26 2004 09:15 am

Id like to add also:

Pickup line NOT to ask if you are a dj whore, and ur lookin for some dj dick...

"Are you a dj?????"

Tempestuous · Post by **Tempestuous** » Jul 26 2004 09:16 am

Preppy Raver wrote:WHAT NOT TO SAY TO THE DJ

And above all always tip your DJ in some form whether it's with greenbacks, flashing him your tits, an Apple Martini or something else he might enjoy. Please follow these simple guidelines and you and your DJ will get along just fine.

I'll have to remember this one, any excuse for another round of shots!

Marta · Post by **Marta** » Jul 26 2004 11:22 am

oracle wrote:most importantly, imo, do not ask the dj play something from a different genre than what he is playing. for example, do not ask for 'in da club' when the dj is playing breaks.

hahhahaha ive seen that a million times!

dj_dox · Post by **dj_dox** » Jul 26 2004 11:38 am

how about not molesting the mixer trying to hook up your cd mixer, while someone else is in the middle of the mix.

Gryphyn · Post by **Gryphyn** » Jul 26 2004 06:16 pm

dj_dox wrote:how about not molesting the mixer trying to hook up your cd mixer, while someone else is in the middle of the mix.

Memory of WMC 2003 there...

bitterchemical · Post by **bitterchemical** » Jul 26 2004 09:09 pm

does "play that song again and i'll break your fucking fingers" count as something not to say to a dj? if so, i'd like to apologize to just about every dj i've seen spin a played out icey song. and to those who didn't listen to me, sorry about the fingers.

Larz · Post by **Larz** » Jul 27 2004 12:18 am

well their are a few other things they don't want to hear, like
1. you suck
2. you must be new at this
3. your not gonna play that shit again are you
4. i hate this fucking song
5. you better keep your day job
6. your not gonna train wreck again are you
7. damn you must be really drunk
8. i wish you were on the radio, that way i could turn it off
9. are you almost done
10. will you please stop

Lori · Post by **Lori** » Jul 28 2004 12:08 pm

manus wrote:I1. "Do you have anything harder than this?"

Try telling him...Yeah, this turntable upside your head. Get out of my booth.

dirrrteeee · Post by **dirrrteeee** » Jul 28 2004 02:32 pm

dj's really hate it when you yell at them
"you trainwreck worse than keoki!"
and keoki really hates "you gonna pass out on the tables like a little bitch again?" i can't resist
oh and when djs are playing really boring crap and we light our lighters and yell play some freebird

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