Dude on the Couch...

[allmightyone420]

Ok so, I now have this problem. A good friend of mine has approached me with an idea...see he needs a place to stay for a month or so since his roommate is bolting. The guy is very on top of his stuff with cash (I have lived with him before) and I am sure he would be gone within two months max. It would be helpful for him as far as being able to save and such, and for my roommate and myself to catch up on things. I would expecially benefit from having the extra income so that I could get a few bills straight and maybe start to rebuild the home studio I have tried several times to build.
Here is the problem with this though...first off I kind of feel like the guy is a bit "dependant" based on the the time I have known him. He is always upset that people do not want to just sit around with him most nights. Another problem that I have is the amount of people which he attracts. Usually there are five or six friends that may be over at his old place depending, or when I have gone out with him to visit other friends found tons of randoms in the room. My biggest thing is his cleaning habits. I am not a "neat freak" but do at least keep my kitchen and living room area in running order. Lastly there is the issue of his dog. It is young, may or may not be fully house broken, and doesn't understand that "Derrick doen't want to play with it but instead will turn it into snake food" every time it jumps up on me.
On the reverse, and forgetting the big financial positive, my bleeding heart I guess I active right now. I have always been too generous of a perosn. I many nights go and find homeless guys around town to give food and money to. I have taken in my lifetime a few "dude on the couch" friends with a few houserules but no real problems. I would only hope that if I was to ever need anyone that people would be there for me, and have even within this past year had to collet on that wish.
The friend in question here has been one of those helpful people. I have known this guy for years, and did spend a good couple of years as his roommate. Hell, I even took him home for Thanksgiving a few times! We have been through are share of rough spots, like most people. I do know though that if I was in this position he would have no problem with me moving in.
The major thing though is can I deal with him? Already I have to remind him not to act like a girlfriend who constatly is upset if I make other plans with my time or I am not at home right at a certain time. There are many times I have made it a point to avoid my home or phone so that I didn't get caught in his web of complaints. And though he is very mature when it comes to some issues, I often wish for him to grow up and realize that we are no longer in college anymore.
I guess what I am wanting to do with this...other than rant...and waste a few minutes at work...is get an opinion. The guy in question is not on the board and I think maybe four or five max of you have met him. (Dan and Megan...not sure if anyone else has) Kind of sucks when I can be All-Mighty and still not have an answer for everything...but that is what the internet is for.

[Stardust]

The major thing though is can I deal with him? Already I have to remind him not to act like a girlfriend who constatly is upset if I make other plans with my time or I am not at home right at a certain time. There are many times I have made it a point to avoid my home or phone so that I didn't get caught in his web of complaints. And though he is very mature when it comes to some issues, I often wish for him to grow up and realize that we are no longer in college anymore.

ummm no...that right there would be enough to drive me crazy. I also have an open door w/ my friends who need a place to crash...but if they expect me to change my life for them and if they make no effort to get a job then we gonna be fighting a lot...

[teknotekke]

umm not sure who you are talking about. if it is that guy that is really annoying and never left your house that night then no. just say no. and if he has as many friends as you make it out to be then there has to be somewhere else he can crash. and the last thing you need in that apt is another dog. i can see the financial benefit but it seems to me that the negative may outweigh the positive on this one. just my thoughts.

[MaZen]

You can be a good friend by helping him out and still stand ground with 'house rules'. You know what you don't want to happen if he moves in soooooo:

Let him know your concerns.


Your both adults. If he isn't down for following what you lay down then at least you know you tried to help him out.


I wish you all the best D!

[teknotekke]

You can be a good friend by helping him out and still stand ground with 'house rules'. You know what you don't want to happen if he moves in soooooo:

Let him know your concerns.


Your both adults. If he isn't down for following what you lay down then at least you know you tried to help him out.


I wish you all the best D!

awww so sweet...I'm such a bitch!

[vicocet]

don't do it. i've been through two very similar situations, and am going through one right now. all they do is take advantage. two months ends up turning into five or six. untill you just can't take it anymore, and end freaking the fuck out. they say they will help you out with money, but they don't. because they don't have enough to give you if they did they probably wouldn't need to stay with you for so long in the first place. what ends up happening is you get so tired of them eating your food and using your soap, shampoo, toilet paper, laundry detergent and so on. that you just tell them to use what little money they do have to buy their own shit. its also very annoying to come home from work and want to just sit down and watch tv or get on the computer, but they are in the middle of watching something or doing something online, but you don't want to be rude so you just deal with. the whole time knowing he isn't paying for any of it.

then you have two think about the space. a person on the couch takes up a lot of room, more so than you think. its just that they are always there out in the open. you wake up, you see them laying on the couch. get home from work there they are, bring your girlfriend over there they are. it starts to get very crowded. think about all his stuff he is going to have, and it will just randomly be placed in different spots around the house.

my brother and i let this one guy stay with us who had a dog that he said was house broken, but that wasn't true. well for the first two weeks it was then we started wakeing up to some of the biggest and worst smelling shit i've seen.

thats it i'm done. i can't keep going on. i'm getting to pissed off thinking about it.

[allmightyone420]

Thanks for the input. I am kind of letting my roommate be the "bad guy" in this though I do agree that he should find another place to go. She has a better way of saying "no" than I do to people. I only fear that she will give in and all the bad stuff will happen.

If he does move in, expect to see me out A LOT more...like 6-7 nights a week just to get away.

[vicocet]

If he does move in, expect to see me out A LOT more...like 6-7 nights a week just to get away.

thats what i started doing, but then your home starts to not even feel like your home anymore. and that feeling sucks.

just put it off on your roommate like you said. tell him you roommate said no and doesn't feel comfortable with the situation. that way you don't seem like the badguy.

[soliloquy]

don't do it. i've been through two very similar situations, and am going through one right now. all they do is take advantage. two months ends up turning into five or six. untill you just can't take it anymore, and end freaking the fuck out. they say they will help you out with money, but they don't. because they don't have enough to give you if they did they probably wouldn't need to stay with you for so long in the first place. what ends up happening is you get so tired of them eating your food and using your soap, shampoo, toilet paper, laundry detergent and so on. that you just tell them to use what little money they do have to buy their own shit. its also very annoying to come home from work and want to just sit down and watch tv or get on the computer, but they are in the middle of watching something or doing something online, but you don't want to be rude so you just deal with. the whole time knowing he isn't paying for any of it.

then you have two think about the space. a person on the couch takes up a lot of room, more so than you think. its just that they are always there out in the open. you wake up, you see them laying on the couch. get home from work there they are, bring your girlfriend over there they are. it starts to get very crowded. think about all his stuff he is going to have, and it will just randomly be placed in different spots around the house.

my brother and i let this one guy stay with us who had a dog that he said was house broken, but that wasn't true. well for the first two weeks it was then we started wakeing up to some of the biggest and worst smelling shit i've seen.

thats it i'm done. i can't keep going on. i'm getting to pissed off thinking about it.

don't be too quick to say that every perosn is a moocher. I got bitched at by a friend for staying in their house "too long", the day before i was going to close on this apartment i was gonna get. There was some miscommunication on my part, I'll admit to that, but still don't assume just because someone needs a place to stay that they wont leave, some of us actually are applying ourselves. That is all.

[Trinity524]

Don't do it. You are lucky enough to have found a roommate you can deal with. The guy on the sofa thing gets old way quick and you may lose a friendship. People weren't meant to have no privacy. That's for you and him. Having someone sleep in your living room will always make it messy. They won't have anywhere to put their stuff without making it look like crap.

See ya at the club.

Annie

[Dawn]

This is the roomie that you had last year? The one in flight school or whatever?

[nobuhiro_223]

don't be too quick to say that every perosn is a moocher. I got bitched at by a friend for staying in their house "too long", the day before i was going to close on this apartment i was gonna get. There was some miscommunication on my part, I'll admit to that, but still don't assume just because someone needs a place to stay that they wont leave, some of us actually are applying ourselves. That is all.

LETS NOT GO HERE AGAIN!!!!!!!!
DID U THINK I WOULD NOT SEE THIS.

EVERY ONE, THERE IS ALOT MORE TO THIS

[vicocet]

don't be too quick to say that every perosn is a moocher. I got bitched at by a friend for staying in their house "too long", the day before i was going to close on this apartment i was gonna get. There was some miscommunication on my part, I'll admit to that, but still don't assume just because someone needs a place to stay that they wont leave, some of us actually are applying ourselves. That is all.

LETS NOT GO HERE AGAIN!!!!!!!!
DID U THINK I WOULD NOT SEE THIS.

EVERY ONE, THERE IS ALOT MORE TO THIS

[oracle]

allmightyone:

seriously, tell the dude on the couch exactly what you think of the situation. don't beat around the bush either, just tell him "yo, don't take this personal, but i gotta be straight up here, this is what i think of this situation..." honesty always leads to the best conclusion, always.

if he is a friend, he will understand and make the necessary changes. if he doesn't understand, he is not your friend (even if he would let you crash on his couch if necessary), and you should have no problem telling him that he has a week to find somewhere else to sleep.

gl

[Trinity524]

And the plot thickens