this real estate investor purchased a mental institution.
a year or so later, and he decides to go pay the place a visit and see
what has made him a small fortune so far.
the doctors and nurses greet him at the door. the head doctor said,
"why don't you have a look around" and the investor said "I think I will"
so he walks into the first room and sees this guy throwing a bowling ball up against the wall over and over again.
the investor finally asked the patient "what are you doing"
the patient replied "when i get out of this place, i'm going to be on the pro bowlers tour"
the investor thinks to himself: wow, he is crazy. then decides to visit another patient, and walks down the hall and into another room.
this patient is throwing a basketball into an imaginary hoop. and he asked the patient, "what are you suppose to be doing" the patient replied "when i get out of this place, i'm going to be in the NBA.
againg the investor thinks to himself: damn he is crazy.
then he goes into this one room, and as he opens the door, he sees peanut shells, walnut shells, pecans shells, pistachio shells all over the room, on the chair, desk, dresser, nothing but shells. then he looks over on the bed and sees this old man with an erection lying on the bed with half a walnut on the head of his penis.
the investor is flabbergasted at the sight of this, but finally asked the patient "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING"
the old man replied "I'm never getting out of this place, I'm fucking nuts"
Where is today's joke?
-
EWreckedSean
- newskool
- Posts: 42
- Joined: Jul 27 2003 08:42 pm
- Location: Orlando, FL
- Contact:
A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other redneck whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's 'dead'." There is a silence... then a shot is heard. The
redneck's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"
redneck's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"
Q: What are the two biggest lies in Poland?
A: "The check is in your mouth" and "I won't come in the mail."
___
Q: What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she'll swallow!
___
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.
___
What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
Acne comes on your face AFTER puberty.
___
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang the picture!
___
What did God say after creating man? "I can do much better!"
What did God say after creating woman? "Guess I was wrong!"
___
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...
The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."
"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"
"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
A: "The check is in your mouth" and "I won't come in the mail."
___
Q: What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she'll swallow!
___
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.
___
What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
Acne comes on your face AFTER puberty.
___
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang the picture!
___
What did God say after creating man? "I can do much better!"
What did God say after creating woman? "Guess I was wrong!"
___
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...
The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."
"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"
"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
